Friday, May 21, 2010

Is Cheating Inevitable? The Four Main Reasons Women Are Unfaithful

When a woman cheats on her man, it's usually for one of four reasons, and it's beyond his control. Your qualities as a companion - as a lover - are immaterial. If a women decides that her relationship is less than complete, she'll start scouting about to find someone with whom she can have that perfect relationship. Her cheating will be blamed on you, of course, because you're the one she'll hold responsible for the failures in the relationship.

"Emotional distance" is the term given to the first of these causes. Women have a desire for emotional engagement. They want to feel loved and they want their man to pay attention to them. Women have many needs, and they're complex. They need to have a sense of belonging in a relationship, and that need is fulfilled by a man's actions and words. If a woman isn't made to feel beautiful and valuable, and a real partner in a relationship, she'll blame the man, regardless of why she really isn't feeling those things. A woman who feels her man isn't doing his part is a woman who'll seek a man who'll stay emotionally close to her.

The second reason women will cheat on their men is neglect. That's reasonable, but it's still fraught with pitfalls. The man who's always underfoot, always in his woman's face, will before long be considered to be clingy: too dependent, too needy, too immature - and too replaceable. She'll feel claustrophobic. On the other hand, however, when a man realizes that he's got to give his woman time on her own to grow, and enhance those things he loves about her, she might decide he doesn't really care. She might decide he's neglecting her, and she'll use that space to find another man.

Women, like men, need to have a healthy sense of self-esteem, and they expect their men to provide a great deal of it. Even though they're no longer dating, they want their men to carry on the "courtship behavior" of complimenting their appearance. Her self-esteem will be get the reinforcement it needs from another man, she'll think, because she feels she's no longer getting that in her relationship - no matter what her man's actually doing. Again, no matter what you're doing to boost her self-esteem, if it's her perception that you're not doing enough, she'll shop around for someone who will.

The fourth reason a woman is likely to cheat is that the relationship's really already over in all but name, and she's already looking for her next partner. This is a specially dishonest way of ending a relationship, because the woman is already seeking to form a new relationship while her man isn't even really aware that it's over. It may be easier for her to remain in a relationship while shopping for a new man, but it's emotionally and morally dishonest, as well as highly inconsiderate of the man's feelings. She'll likely find all the same old problems in her new relationship.

Regardless of the reason why women cheat on their man, the awkward truth is that they probably weren't suited to each other. How can a man continue to love a woman who regards him so lightly she'll cheat on him?Any man wants to spend his life with a woman who loves and respects him - certainly not traits of a woman who cheats on her man.

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